What's going on?

Grand Junction Hiring for 'Parks Patrol' Right Now
Earlier today I saw several Parks Patrol officers cruising around Grand Junction's City Hall. Suddenly, I remembered the city recruits new employees every summer. After a quick check, it turns out the City of Grand Junction is hiring for the Parks Patrol right now...
No Free Slurpee for You Grand Junction
Foul! People are beating the summer heat today while enjoying free Slurpees at 7-Eleven stores. There's just one problem. We don't have one in Grand Junction. What is one to do?