Celebrating National Vinegar Day
November 1 is National Vinegar Day, but I can't for the life of me understand why we would celebrate something so vile and disgusting.
There are a lot of reported uses for vinegar, not the least of which is drinking it in some form or another. Someone, please tell me what part of gross makes downing an ice cold glass of vinegar even slightly appealing?
Okay, so you admit it doesn't necessarily taste great -- at least not as good as a large cherry Slurpee from 7-11. Yet, somehow, you spice it up, season it, and suddenly it's some heavenly wine you want to pour over your salad.
How do you quickly and completely ruin one of God's greatest creations - the potato chip? Easy, just add vinegar flavoring, and then tell me why anyone would ever want to do that?
Vinegar is commonly used for cleaning. gardening, and pest control. So why on earth would I want something that is going to kill bugs going into my system?
Some people use vinegar for old-fashioned home remedies and medical treatments. They swear it works miracles, but in all my years of living, I've never once had a doctor give me a prescription for vinegar.
So you see, I'm not much in the mood for celebrating National Vinegar Day. However, I may need to give out a small cheer considering the fact that I am a huge fan of BBQ sauce, ketchup, and mustard, all of which contain a portion of vinegar. But, in none of these is it the primary ingredient, and I'm not even convinced that vinegar is essential to these wonderful condiments.
I realize there are plenty of people in the world who love vinegar with fish and chips, sushi, salad dressings, and beverages. And, let it be known, I don't think less of those people because of it. I just don't understand it, and will not be joining their ranks.
However, in the spirit of national pride and unity, I am willing to lay aside our differences for this somber occasion as we join together in celebration of vinegar. But, just because I'm willing to compromise today, it doesn't mean come Monday I will be raising the banner to celebrate National Saxophone Day.
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